Archive for March, 2007

“When Kevin Wins, You Win”

definition: opportunistic capitalism by Bass Pro Shops

We Save Lives

definition: resistance to the urge of slaying Large off spawning beds by voyeuristically observing their annual mating ritual and plotting elaborate pornographic scenarios involving humans acting out the bestial roles of respective short, thin male and obese female micropterus salmoides in film

example: “Oh there’s a nice fish, let’s let her be and not catch her. We save lives.”

Bustin’ Up Homes

definition: gratuitous, guilt free utter slay of vulnerable Large attempting to spawn

example: “Ya know, it’s kind of like prostitution or having an affair. You know it’s wrong, but it feels right at the time. Let’s bust up some homes!”

Starting Off Fishing for Panfish Theorem

definition: tactic utilized by Steve Ress after being diagnosed with vaginitis and bringing his vagina to thunder

Vaginitis (Vaginal)

definition: 1. serious condition resulting from prioritizing the pursuit of a female over a bass fishing mission. 2. drinking decaf cup or tea

example: Bass: “Baker, lets stop for cup, I can’t reCupitulate because I might OD, so I will get decaf.”
Baker: “Not in my car!”

“I’ve Been Readin’ Books”

definition: statement declared loudly and arrogantly by angler who becomes defensive when fellow anglers nay-say his suggestions of lures and/or fishing locations

example 1: Bass: “Dude this is a small fish pattern. We should be fishing deeper!”
Baker: “Yeah but it is the spawn, and I am clearly slaying on the devil’s horse!”
Bass: “I’ve been readin’ books!”

example 2: : Baker: “Alright, now off to the salt-water section!”
Mop: “Why?!?!?!?”
Baker: “I’ve been readin’ books!”

Lack of Dedication Theorem

definition: the radio silence from select anglers on this list, too lazy to contribute usage

Into Dumb Shit Theorem

definition: remarking on the wonders of nature, instead of concentrating on catching Large

example: Chris Ress: “Wow! What a beautiful sunset! Steve, turn off the motor so I can take a picture! Better yet, let’s go look at the fall foliage!”

like butterwater