How To Talk like a Heap Hunter!

Recent Entries


definition: dismally precipitatious


definition: smooth short cast

Example:  “They’re just a butterflick away!”


definition: 9 lb bass

example 1: “Gotta root for the 40-NINERS”

example 2: “I don’t root for Philadelphia basketball because I lived there… it’s all due to the 70-SIXERS.”


definition: 1) dropoff 2) tactic The Heap Hunters stubbornly never use

Ray Noble

Bass Evans doing the Ray Noble work in the Rockaways following Hurricane Sandy

definition: noble work

Alan Thicke

definition: anything thick

Mann’s Worm

definition: A worm used by men to upsize and bring total delirium OR total heaps into the boat.

“Children’s Children’s Heaps”

definition: the reason for catch and release

Night Train

definition: 1) black custom spinnerbait (blade)

2) Night fishing (riding the night train)

Poopsie Unit

definition: small rowboat

Required (Proper)Work

definition: angler does the required work to slay Heaps

example: Baker “I don’t know man I’ve been doin’ the Lord’s work out here for Bruce!”

Evans “You do the work, just not the required work.”


definition: as if on a timer, seemingly all local pleasure boaters fire up their jet-skis etc. and do laps around the lake like the Indy-500, at the exact time such imbecility is permitted.*

*Note: this makes the lake unfishable

Soft Idiocy

definition: Remedial canoeing, pleasure boating, and other close encounters with imbecility on the waterfront


definition: In search of Pelagia, (pelagic Heaps) angler O’bombs or trolls giant swimbaits for utter Bruce

example: Bass: “…and now it’s time for the night train for pelagia.”

“Nice Idiocy”

“Stuck in the milfoil… with you”

definition: 1. song parody sung while fishing milfoil 2. actually having a Heap “stu” in the milfoil, with you

“…a vote of no confidence”

definition: angler finally changes the menu after fishing ineffectively with a questionable presentation

example: Moppa: “Nothing says Viagra summertime – like red shad. Unfortunately it’s a rancid wooly bug…it gets a vote of no confidence.”

framework (the)

definition: refers to the typical length (20-24 inches) and overall features of older largemouth

example 1: “I can’t believe this one’s only 3 and a quarter…its got aussie pokies online the framework!”

example 2: “Catch a 10 with the framework after she slurps down a coupa two tree trut…and you have a state record! Hanna or no?”


definition: 1) “Liking” a Facebook fishing page 2) Gratuitous, unadulterated self-promotional “Like” requests by The Heap Hunters on Facebook, for Bruce

Henry David Thoreau (it)

definition: when an angler throws a cast across the gauntlet

“The cosmos is on fire!”

definition: The recognition of positive and/or negative minute nuances of human life, and their affects on Heap activity

example: Evans: “Dude, the cosmos is on fire! 3 girls totally just checked me out in a row…unprecedented! And a full moon! We gotta get out on the water!”

Cheski Rapps

definition: anything wrapped

example: Baker: “Heeessski Rapps.” Evans: “What does he.”

derivation: one of Baker and Evans’s students at Yeshiva

Milt Thompson

definition: male micropterus reproductive discharge

Milt Thompson


definition: to request

example: Baker “I’d like to requesterant giant topwater across the gauntlet of the island on your next mission.”

Mike Flairitin

definition: the spawn of Mike Clary (Claritin) and Ric Flair

derivation: anchored while slaying Ric Flair (perch) in severe gustafson in a poopsie unit for no reason!

Ric Flairitin:

“Key on Boat Noise”

definition: angler is oblivious to how much noise he and/or his poopsie unit is actually making inamungst the work


definition: 1) severe inheaption 2) ongoing and prolonged Sevenizm


definition: 1) the Heap Hunter religion, specified by poundage based on recent serious Heap and the geographical growing season of Micropterus available to a given heapologist
example 1: Bass: “Luckily I remediated my pathetic Sixizm…it’s great to be back to Sevenizm.”
example 2: Baker: “Eightizm and then Eight is Enough…or is it….”
example 3: Bass: “Alfred Lord Tenizm.”

2) the habits and idiosyncrasies of Heaps

Example: Bass: “Dude that Heap is rotting the authority next to Quarry Feldman!” Baker: “That’s a typical heapizm.”


definition: a rancid trout

example: “Dude there’s a swirl…oh it’s a trut.”



subliminal spot

definition: spot on spot

Dwight Gooden

definition: a good un’


definition: pond shiner

example: Hallsey “I’ll just flick my hot pinshin blade dude….yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”


definition: working down a bank and skipping lures at every piece of cover like a maniac


definition: mad rust


definition: 1) within Sevenizm, Heap Hunter produces a 5 lber and continues to be unsatisfied 2) anything having to do with a 5 lber (for no reason)

Enroute Pulse

definition: similar to In-House Pulse, but while the motor is on, enroute to the next spot


definition: Big Black Worm


definition (in two parts, referring to large shallow smallmouth) 1. they are usually “black” in color referring to the color of men that Kim Kardashian likes 2. they usually mad dash at your baits at warp speed


definition: similar to squatathon but worse: angler gets repeated opportunities at Heaps and catches Bruce

“Over-slay my welcome”

definition: angler’s respectful fear of imposing on a family’s private lake access
(see Ress Family, Funder, 1993-Present, Ms. Sayre (RIP) Beaver Lake 1993-2006)

example: Baker: “I think I should still just do the front half of the trip…I don’t wanna over-slay my welcome.”


definition: angler approaches the crispus cuspus of his personal best

Baker: “I’m sure! I’m cusping on my personal Jim Besten with this 7-9!”

The Male Work

definition: 1: all aspects of Heap Hunting 2: when a male makes it clear to a female that he is interested in them, rather then being the gay friend and/or activity partner

example: Evans: “I’m sure! Da-Nile it’s not only a river! That pickup line makes it obvious I’m interested in her!”
Baker: “You did The Male Work.”

Juice wagon (juice mobile, lump o’juice)

definition: when you piss your pants because your holding it so long from inability to stop doing the work and your diaper of underwear fills with juice, or the diaper of underwear themselves. example 1: “I have a lump o’ juice in my pants.” example 2: “My juice mobile is gunna explode.”


 definition: taking a piss, the actual piss, or the person taking a piss. example 1: “Hawg Rees has to juice.”
example 2: “He’s leaving a b-complex stream of juice behind the boat.”

team steam (steambath)

definition : when someone has to take a steamer (pulsation), in reference to that person, the action or the product that Online Pokies develops during the course of the action of steaming.   example:  “Daddy Baker is team steam somewhere on the bank over there.”

“Don’t forget” (…to flick blades)

definition: advice from a certain elite pro on a certain technique in a certain upper-section of a certain private lake
(somehow it got reduced to just “Don’t Forget”)


definition: the hooking and housing of a heap

example: HH1: “Good luck today. Sting em’.”

“Ketchup and Mustard”

definition: exclaimed when co-angler struggles to reel in slack after hook-set

“Thanks for Playin'”

definition: statement made to a chip or unmentionable prior to release