How To Talk like a Heap Hunter!

Recent Entries

Sexy Donald

definition: Sexy Shad, (-e)


definition: the aforementioned catching of jack


definition: specific area where Baker and Evans upped thine Personal Bestens, among other consistent heaps by Baker

Hanging Shad

definition: 1) a dangling shad-imitating swimbait 2) a suspending shad-imitating jerkbait 3) loogy stued on angler’s jib after hack/spat attempt


definition: a senko

Chad Ochocinco

Dripper Gore

definition: anything dripping


definition: large


definition: just an poky little puppy online utter heap

Michael Bolton

definition: when a fish makes a bolt of any kind


definition: total Bruce (derived from NEPA band “Dick Fawcett,” mid-90’s)

Pat Golden

definition: what is he

Pat Cullen

definition: what does he

Camo-Man (Camo-Dude)

definition: jingoistic dude who dresses all in camo (boat, truck and person) and festers at Lackawanna seemingly day and night

Camo-Dude's Camo-Truck

Walk the Plank

definition: refers to the hideous balance demonstrated by Bass Evans as he attempts to latch Baker’s boat

Cheese Grater

definition: refers to a specific bottom jig feel

Pumela Anderson

definition: the pummeling of a swimbait or lure

Barack O’Bombing

definition: launching swim baits in heavy wind for Bruce in a pathetic hope for a miracle

“Sittin’ on the dock of Boyd Duckett…”

definition: useless delirium by Baker in the no-bite based on “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay.”

Quarry Feldman

definition: a plethora of rock cover


definition: tonight (tuh)

example: Daddy “…and I will be getting free pokies online to work on the video for the year in review….TUHHHHHHNITUS!”


definition: see emmensity


definition: a state of total festeration

example: Bass: “Dude, Baker went out yesterday to 36-38 degree water temps and nothing charted on electronica lewinsky – they must have been totally heaping in the mud!” Ress-UL: “heaptification.” (calm)

definition: a lake under calm conditions

example 1: “Man it’s dot com out here!”

definition: dot hot

example 1: “It’s out!”

example 2: Moppa: “That chick was dot hot.” Evans: “What was she.”


definition: when a Heap Hunter scores over 3 heaps in one day (see Baker 9/5/10, Evans 4/2/07 or 9/25/10)

Let the Chips Fall Where They May

Montezuma’s Revenge

definition: pulsation that occurs on the shores of, featuring the G.I. Bill

Shores of Montezuma

definition: the shoreline

The Hunchback

definition: infamous inhabitant of Lakeside, caught twice by Bass Evans (8-21-10, 10-24-10)

The Notre Dame Stylings

Subterranean Desert

definition: the subbing of a giant heap after release by a Heap Hunter

Oblivion Newton John

definition: refers to the abyss of deep water

example 1: “I hate this northern Gust-of-sin! It always blows the Poopsie Also off the drop into Oblivion Newton John!”

example 2: “Big fish John Kerry these 12 inch worms with a purpose as they depart into Oblivion Newton John, so make sure you give them The Archer!”


definition: 8-pronged homemade anchor inspired by Father Bill Murphy



definition: largemouth under 4 lbs

example: Angler: “Boy what a great day! I caught 5 two lbers!” Heap Hunter: “What are you out of it? You didn’t catch anything today!”

Tapioca Pudding

definition: see Tappan Zee Bridge

Tappan Zee Bridge

definition: fish tap on your lure


definition: sick heap

Ray Draper

definition: when a lure drapes over an underwater tree branch or other cover

example: Baker: “Dude, that’s not Quarry Feldman, that’s Ray Draper!”


definition: Baker stued yit again

pouter (pouting)

definition: grumpy largemouth


definition: 1. when a fish fools the angler with unusual hits etc., causing the lure to return completely altered in a confusing way 2. a bizarre, unexplainable occurrence on the waterfront

example 1: “I’m sure! First I was one-lunged, and now John Cougar Mellencamp!”

example 2: “I can’t believe we found the exact worm that the ghost fish hit after she broke me off in a tree….it was floating hours later at the other end of the lake at the load-in dock!”

Chuck Woolery

The Karate Kid

definition: jig returns with one lung stued on the hook point, resembling Daniel-san

John Cougar Mellencamp "Get a Leg Up"


definition: just a big bag of chips

“The Hour of Power”

definition: between 4-5 am at Winola in the summer, or 4-5 pm anywhere in November


definition: a religious branch of heapology, where angler worships through threats and/or punishments on self for not attaining poundage represented by number before ‘izm.’ (co-angler may institute breakage of said izm if situation gets dangerous)

example #1: Evans: “You want a snack?” Hallsey: “No way dude! I need a seven! I’m fasting and on a hunger strike until I get it! I’ll sprawl out on a cot on my deathbed with a dropshot and an I.V. if it needs it!”

example #2: (after pulling up slimy sunken tree) Hallsey: “Thanks dude for the un-stu….aren’t you gonna wash off your hands?” Evans: (grey muck caked on hands) “I don’t even care anymore. I’m not gonna wash my hands or shower until I get a sixer.”

fizzer (the)

definition: angler sets and monstrous fish immediately peels uncontrollable drag

Belly Up Bob

definition: a floating fish carcass

Peek Performance

definition: catching a rancid peek

B.A. Baracus

definition: swimbait returns with a thin strand of vegetashe running from head to dorsel fin, notifying angler that his retrieve was for Bruce

Frontal Baracus

definition: swimbait returns with thin strand of vegetashe on bottom stinger hook, notifying angler that his retrieve was for Bruce

Don Baylor

definition: bail the boat