How To Talk like a Heap Hunter!

Chapter: People

Mike Flairitin

definition: the spawn of Mike Clary (Claritin) and Ric Flair

derivation: anchored while slaying Ric Flair (perch) in severe gustafson in a poopsie unit for no reason!

Ric Flairitin:

Pat Golden

definition: what is he

Pat Cullen

definition: what does he

Camo-Man (Camo-Dude)

definition: jingoistic dude who dresses all in camo (boat, truck and person) and festers at Lackawanna seemingly day and night

Camo-Dude's Camo-Truck


definition: Chris Hall

example: (after the hot crush of a peek) “I’ll kill every one of em’!”

example 2: (after slaying Large) “Ahhhhhhhh – the best part of this is that I can now have a nice sweet dip! Skull reaction – satisfaction!”

Hallsey ridin' the night train, 4 lbs 8 ounces

Shit Commission

definition: game warden who doesn’t give a shit and barrels into your spot, likewise making you dig out all your shit to show him

Steelie Don

definition: Wisconsin steelhead fisherman and friend of Chris Ress

Steelie Don

Heap Hunter

definition: angler fishing for a monstrosity at all times, usually producing Bruce Ruffin in the flesh on any given day

The Astoria Bassmasters

definition: NYC based bass fishing collective featuring Bass Evans, Daddy Baker, and Moppa Elliott (founded in 2006)

What do we

What do we


definition: Mathew Elliott-long time friend, colleague, and bassmaster

Paul Elias

definition: Moppa’s father (looks like him)


definition: Bass Evans’ father

Clarence "Junie" "Bullhead" Evans

“Bullhead” Baker

definition: Baker’s father

Roger "Bullhead" Baker with a 6 pound 9 ounce trophy!

“ResS-UV” “Hawg” “Monster”

definition: Steven Bradley “Hawg” Ress, derived from his tendency to never wear sunglasses and sunscreen while on the water (he will probably own a SUV someday)

****ReS-UV UPDATE: He now owns a SUV, as predicted.****

"Hawg Ress", "ResS-UV"

“Ress-UL” “Pounds” or “Biggie Smallmouth”

definition: Christopher Benjamin “Pounds” Ress, derived from his tendency to downsize and use his pathetic UltraLight…Chris prides himself on being able to “catch any fish that swims!”

Chris Ress with "Count Bassie". This territorial fish was caught by Bass Evans one month later (see 6 lbs. club).

“Walk the Dog”

definition: Lee Ress


definition: well-known bassmaster and the original derividactory of much of this usage (some names are intentionally misspelled to protect anonymity)

Roger Morgan

definition: caregiver of Sandy River Reservoir who gives the Heap Hunters a new, bewildering master class yearly

Roger Morgan

Father Christmas

definition: Roger Morgan


definition: Bill Siementel