THE HEAP HUNTERS

What They Do

  • Auditory Spectacle

    definition: A sonic fantasia involving gratuitous grunting, snort-wheezing, and God knows what else accompanied by Alan Thicke in the rut.

    derivation: Tom Murphy, episode #491, Clint Campbell’s “Truth From The Stand” podcast

  • One Lunged

    definition: having a bait with 2 equally sized tails come back with one because a beast zooed it off

    one lunged trailer

  • Browsemageddon

    definition: the complete mowing of a section of quality habitat by the scrub commission

  • Browsezilla

    definition: whitetail so enchanted by browsing, they are oblivious to hunter above

  • Bronx Bombers

    definition: 2 giant Heaps that live right off a major highway near the Bronx, seen every time anyone drives by, with the sticks of Gehrig and the arrogance of Ruth.

  • Leeward Tuck

    definition: deer bedded on the leeward side of a ridge, getting ready for RuPaul’s drag show

  • Michael Bolton

    definition: when a fish or deer makes a bolt of any kind

  • Pumela Anderson

    definition: the pummeling of a swimbait or lure

  • heaping

    definition: a state of total festeration

    example: Bass: “Dude, Baker went out yesterday to 36-38 degree water temps and nothing charted on electronica lewinsky – they must have been totally heaping in the mud!” Ress-UL: “heaptification.”

  • Subterranean Desert

    definition: the subbing of a giant heap after release by a Heap Hunter

  • Tapioca Pudding

    definition: see Tappan Zee Bridge

  • Tappan Zee Bridge

    definition: fish tap on your lure