How To Talk like a Heap Hunter!

Chapter: What They Do


definition (in two parts, referring to large shallow smallmouth) 1. they are usually “black” in color referring to the color of men that Kim Kardashian likes 2. they usually mad dash at your baits at warp speed

Michael Bolton

definition: when a fish makes a bolt of any kind

Pumela Anderson

definition: the pummeling of a swimbait or lure


definition: a state of total festeration

example: Bass: “Dude, Baker went out yesterday to 36-38 degree water temps and nothing charted on electronica lewinsky – they must have been totally heaping in the mud!” Ress-UL: “heaptification.”

Subterranean Desert

definition: the subbing of a giant heap after release by a Heap Hunter

Tapioca Pudding

definition: see Tappan Zee Bridge

Tappan Zee Bridge

definition: fish tap on your lure

fizzer (the)

definition: angler sets and monstrous fish immediately peels uncontrollable drag

Belly Up Bob

definition: a floating fish carcass

SDR (Self-Directed-Release)

definition: when a small Large shakes loose at the boat, enabling angler to fire out again for another

Robert Downer Jr.

definition: see downer


definition: activity

example: Baker: “On that fateful day, George Washington Perry noticed some actividad and cast his creek chub lure…little did he know a leviathan was ready to erupt.”


definition: giant Large sucks your lure from its Stued state

Flush the toilet

definition: wicked topwater annihilation


definition: refers to post-spawn bass who ‘ride the sousemobile,’ souse-spend, and don’t bite

Ridin’ the Sousemobile

definition: stacked suspended Large, as displayed by electronica lewinsky

example: Hallsey: “Where are the bass?!?! They’re all ridin’ the sousemobile.”

Bed n’ Breakfast

definition: 1. gillick predation of eggs in a Large’s home 2. Large predation of said gillick


definition: the follow and close scrutinization of a Huddleston Deluxe by a heap as it swims or ‘cuddles’ a steep bank parallel

Tim Wakefield

definition: a Large waking after a lure or a blade burned likegeeza

Chasin’ Baitman

definition: 1. a Large chasing baitfish 2. Chase Utley